Really???

So my last blog was about letting go and letting God be in control. when i wrote it i didn't mean that i wanted to test the theory anymore than i already was. If the devil is scared of me and i'm doing good things or whatever else you want to call it, i really think he thinks too highly of me. i'm not a blamer of the devil for all things bad but come on! or maybe God is testing me. are bad things always a test of some kind? have i not proven over time that my faith will not waver? i trust Him and as much as i want to say that i'm not scared b/c my life is in His hands...i kind of am. i don't like needles so the needle they are putting into my knee on monday does not thrill me at all. i also don't have time for this. i have to concentrate on aly and what she needs and keeping her well. i can't be sick. i can't have surgery and be unable to walk for any amount of time, whether it be short or long. i have things and people and girl's trips and outreaches and christmas's that are all counting on me, i don't have time for this.