I'm doing a really bad job of recording my life and especially Aly's journey with Mito. I am going to assume that is a good thing. In order for me to write a good blog I need a strong opinion or a major event. So my lack of blogs means my life is lacking in strong opinions and major medical events.
To catch up on Aly: We had our 6 month visit with her GI last week. I was prepared to talk to the doctor about trying to wean down her feeding pump. Yeah I know she doesn't eat much but surely she would eat more if she wasn't getting pumped with 32 oz of high calorie formula each night. After all, she's up to a whopping 37 pds! I haven't forgotten the failed attempt 3 years ago when she spent a week in Riley Hospital while trying to get her off the night pump and onto daytime boluses, which would be the first step into eventually getting her off the feeding tube someday. That attempt failed miserably and I told myself that I would not push the issue anymore. Fast forward 3 years and I find myself asking again. This time I was met with a resounding "No". Well, actually it was "That is a long time down the road but if you want to do a 3 day food diary so we can see how many calories goes in her mouth that would be fine. We can use it in the future." Sigh. I knew it was a long shot but I got ahead of myself again. Just when I'm content with how she is doing I have to do something dumb and get disappointed all over again. So, I've rallied myself back and gotten over it. I'm moving on to other ways I can help her.
She goes to school until 1245pm everyday. She wants to go all day like the other kids. She asks me when she comes home "What do you think my friends are doing at school?" She wants to go to music and art like her friends. The Kindergarten Christmas program practice is during music class so a month ago her teacher and I set it up that she will go all day on music days. She LOVES it! Since that has done so well we've decided to increase that up to 2 days a week and let her go to music and art. She is so excited. I war with myself about pushing her to be as "normal" as possible and pushing her too much. Her therapist has talked to me before about how kids that are pushed are kids that thrive. Last night Dr Cohen (top dog Mito doc) held a meeting for families about Mito. One of his points was that exercise is very important, as much exercise that they can tolerate. Her therapists went to hear him today at Grand Rounds and he talked about not protecting the kids as much and pushing them into mainstream life as much as possible (unless they have an active virus). This eased my mind alot because I have always had the thought that if she is capable of doing something, why not let her do it. If she gets too tired, she'll rest. If she gets too hot, she'll rest. All I can do is keep her hydrated, rested and let her live her life. I'm letting her be a 5 year old girl. Birthday parties, dance recitals, theme parks, playdates, school programs and activities. Who knows what the future holds so she will live the fullest TODAY that she can.
She broke my heart into a million pieces last week. At school they have an Olympics that they participate in during gym class. She doesn't go to gym class so she did not participate. She couldn't have anyway because it would have been too much running but she didn't have any idea that this activity had been going on. They had an award ceremony one morning last week with the entire school. Some kids got medals and others got ribbons. That afternoon she said to Scotty and I "Everyone in my class got a ribbon but me." It never occurred to me or her teacher to have a ribbon for her. We could have arranged for her to go on stage and get a ribbon, it's not a big deal but neither of us even thought about it. So here's my little girl who knows she can't run like the other kids and thinks THAT'S why she didn't get a ribbon not b/c she doesn't attend gym class. All the sudden her brother came to her rescue. He went to his backpack, got the ribbon he received out and gave it to her. He said "Aly, you can have my ribbon, I got one last year so I don't need another one." The smile on her face was worth a million and now the ribbon is hanging on her wall.
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Monday, August 20, 2012
Easily offended? This one's not for you.
I start with a disclaimer: This blog is not about you. If you think it is, that's not my fault.
I think alot about faith. What is faith? The hope of things not seen. Salvation is not seen, grace is not seen, peace is not seen, Jesus himself is not seen. I still believe in those things, therefore, I have faith. My personal thought on faith is that the more crap life deals us the stronger your faith should be. Not the more we should complain about it. How can you have faith and how can God prove himself without dealing out crap? I also believe the people who complain about the crap that life deals them are the people that haven't been through anything substantial enough to have their faith tested. Not the "faith" they just talk about but the actual faith that gets us through our day. The faith that makes us get out of bed every morning to face another day when life has literally knocked us on our butt. Faith that makes me know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God has my back in anything and everything. Faith that makes me not sweat the small stuff because I have been through MUCH bigger stuff and I'm still here and in one piece physically and mentally.
A pet peeve of mine is when someone gets on a pedestal and tells someone else how they should or shouldn't act or what they should or shouldn't do to have said faith. I also can't help but laugh (inside of course) when I hear people talk about how hard it is to have faith or trust God because they've been "hurt". This brings me back to my thought that the people who talk about it really haven't been through it. My faith has been built over 30 years and isn't going to be wavered because of a book I read, movie I saw, song I listened to, word I said, drink I drank, thought I had and so on. Jesus is bigger than all of that. Jesus built my faith by bringing me through 4 divorces between my 2 parents, years long estrangement from my dad and family, death of BOTH of my parents by the time I was 25 (one by plane crash), infertility, miscarriage, a child with a chronic medical condition who may not even see her teenage years, and a few other things that I'm not going to mention. He has saved my sanity, my peace of mind and gives me the motivation and joy to get through my day every day. This is why I know Jesus has my back. This is why I don't jump to the altar every week thinking I have to or God won't have favor on me or protect me or love me. I have a peace in my mind and in my heart that I know I am a child of God and He is with me wherever I am and wherever I go. He has gotten me to the other side of horrible life experiences and will continue to bring me through more. That is enough for me to have hope of things not seen. I have not seen Him but I have seen His hand at work and I would not be here without it.
So when you see someone standing back and not jumping up and down trying to convince everyone of how much faith they have, remember sometimes it's the ones that don't talk about it who have had their faith proven to them and don't have to prove it to everyone else.
I think alot about faith. What is faith? The hope of things not seen. Salvation is not seen, grace is not seen, peace is not seen, Jesus himself is not seen. I still believe in those things, therefore, I have faith. My personal thought on faith is that the more crap life deals us the stronger your faith should be. Not the more we should complain about it. How can you have faith and how can God prove himself without dealing out crap? I also believe the people who complain about the crap that life deals them are the people that haven't been through anything substantial enough to have their faith tested. Not the "faith" they just talk about but the actual faith that gets us through our day. The faith that makes us get out of bed every morning to face another day when life has literally knocked us on our butt. Faith that makes me know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God has my back in anything and everything. Faith that makes me not sweat the small stuff because I have been through MUCH bigger stuff and I'm still here and in one piece physically and mentally.
A pet peeve of mine is when someone gets on a pedestal and tells someone else how they should or shouldn't act or what they should or shouldn't do to have said faith. I also can't help but laugh (inside of course) when I hear people talk about how hard it is to have faith or trust God because they've been "hurt". This brings me back to my thought that the people who talk about it really haven't been through it. My faith has been built over 30 years and isn't going to be wavered because of a book I read, movie I saw, song I listened to, word I said, drink I drank, thought I had and so on. Jesus is bigger than all of that. Jesus built my faith by bringing me through 4 divorces between my 2 parents, years long estrangement from my dad and family, death of BOTH of my parents by the time I was 25 (one by plane crash), infertility, miscarriage, a child with a chronic medical condition who may not even see her teenage years, and a few other things that I'm not going to mention. He has saved my sanity, my peace of mind and gives me the motivation and joy to get through my day every day. This is why I know Jesus has my back. This is why I don't jump to the altar every week thinking I have to or God won't have favor on me or protect me or love me. I have a peace in my mind and in my heart that I know I am a child of God and He is with me wherever I am and wherever I go. He has gotten me to the other side of horrible life experiences and will continue to bring me through more. That is enough for me to have hope of things not seen. I have not seen Him but I have seen His hand at work and I would not be here without it.
So when you see someone standing back and not jumping up and down trying to convince everyone of how much faith they have, remember sometimes it's the ones that don't talk about it who have had their faith proven to them and don't have to prove it to everyone else.
Thursday, July 26, 2012
The inner debate of to worry or not to worry?
The only way you can truly understand what it's like to send a kid with Mito to school is to have a kid with Mito going to school. There are tons and tons of "illnesses" or "conditions" that will make a child have trouble at school and I'm not discounting any of those. A Mito kid is different b/c they can be fine right now and be in the hospital by bedtime or be fatigued and sick when they wake up and by afternoon they are up, running, playing and laughing. They are unpredictable. When your child's health is unpredictable and you are sending them into an unpredictable situation with people who haven't spent the last 5 years watching every move they make, it's scary. I can tell you before Aly vomits and have a bucket to her in time, I can tell you why she is whining and clutching her belly, I can tell you why her cheeks are flaming red and if it's something to worry about, I can tell you why she is ducking her head and not making eye contact, I can watch her walk or run and tell you if she's too tired to walk anymore. Sure the teachers, counselors, assistants, etc all have a copy of the Individualized Education Plan and her Health Plan written by her doctor but have they read it? If they have read it, how many have they read this year and will they remember that the little, curly headed, blonde girl on the playground is the one that might be crashed in the corner if she gets too tired or hot? Do they care that because of getting overheated (along with many other things) that she will have stress on her metabolic system and cause more of her cells to die, which in turn causes her organs to die, which in turn causes...I'm not going there. I am her biggest advocate but I cannot be her biggest enabler. I've spent countless hours and days with her in a hospital bed, holding her down while she screams for whatever is they are doing to her, watched her be rolled away on a guerney to whatever surgery is that month but there comes a time when I have to let go and let her grow up. I'm happy that she's growing up, she's happy that she's growing up. This past year has been a relatively good year, much better than the past 4 for sure. She's stronger mentally and physically than she's ever been. I have to have trust and have faith that all is well and send her into the big world of school. She will have so much fun, meet so many new friends and make memories. If she is able and capable to do that then why take that away from her.
She is smart, outgoing (eventually) and friendly. She may be behind in her academics a little bit but after what she's been through it's expected. She is able to learn and learns fast. I pray (and pray hard) that she gets a teacher that will help and not hinder her. Her preschool experience was beyond wonderful, I never worried a single day about her. I knew she was in completely capable hands and that she was monitored every minute she was in that building. I would love to have the same confidence when I send her to Kindergarten but that's just not going to happen.
Someone (who's qualified medical opinion I trust completely) said to me the the other day "the kids that are pushed are the kids who thrive". I was having a moment of "do I push her too much? Do I not protect her enough?" Well, Aly is thriving right now and I definitely push her. There have been times when she was not thriving and there will most likely be times in the future when she won't but right now she is. I won't compromise her health by any means but if she is capable of being in a dance recital then I'll let her, if she is capable of going to Holiday World and riding rides then I'll let her (with heat precautions in action of course), if she wants to go to Gattitown I'll let her (even if she has to wear gloves b/c of germs). I cannot and will not live in fear of "what can happen".
All that being said, I've prayed alot of prayers about this school thing. I've always prided myself in my ability to NOT worry. My philosophy (on life in general not just Aly) is that I can't change it, I'm not in control of it so why worry about it? I contribute that philosophy to losing both my parents. God has a plan for everyone (whether you believe it or not doesn't change it), God's plan will come to pass whether we worry, cry, pray, scream, yell or have peace. I choose to have peace. That doesn't mean that worry or fear doesn't creep into my mind but usually when it does He does something small to show me that He's in charge, not me. When I signed Aly up for Kindergarten and I was worried and asking questions (that's not the time for questions about IEPs by the way) the person who happened to be sitting at the signup table that day was the Special Education teacher who was more than willing to answer some questions. Now that I'm worried about Aly's IEP (I'm not happy with it), Scotty hears from a family friend who happens to be good friends with Aly's new principal (follow that?) that she's been talking to the principal about Aly and showing her Aly's pictures and videos. The principal says she's gotten emails about Aly and that's she's growing attached to her already. To me that shows God's favor in Aly's life. He's proving to me (again) that although I have to go through the motions and fight for my daughter in the school system, He's going to place the people and move the pieces. For me, that is THE reason not to worry.
She is smart, outgoing (eventually) and friendly. She may be behind in her academics a little bit but after what she's been through it's expected. She is able to learn and learns fast. I pray (and pray hard) that she gets a teacher that will help and not hinder her. Her preschool experience was beyond wonderful, I never worried a single day about her. I knew she was in completely capable hands and that she was monitored every minute she was in that building. I would love to have the same confidence when I send her to Kindergarten but that's just not going to happen.
Someone (who's qualified medical opinion I trust completely) said to me the the other day "the kids that are pushed are the kids who thrive". I was having a moment of "do I push her too much? Do I not protect her enough?" Well, Aly is thriving right now and I definitely push her. There have been times when she was not thriving and there will most likely be times in the future when she won't but right now she is. I won't compromise her health by any means but if she is capable of being in a dance recital then I'll let her, if she is capable of going to Holiday World and riding rides then I'll let her (with heat precautions in action of course), if she wants to go to Gattitown I'll let her (even if she has to wear gloves b/c of germs). I cannot and will not live in fear of "what can happen".
All that being said, I've prayed alot of prayers about this school thing. I've always prided myself in my ability to NOT worry. My philosophy (on life in general not just Aly) is that I can't change it, I'm not in control of it so why worry about it? I contribute that philosophy to losing both my parents. God has a plan for everyone (whether you believe it or not doesn't change it), God's plan will come to pass whether we worry, cry, pray, scream, yell or have peace. I choose to have peace. That doesn't mean that worry or fear doesn't creep into my mind but usually when it does He does something small to show me that He's in charge, not me. When I signed Aly up for Kindergarten and I was worried and asking questions (that's not the time for questions about IEPs by the way) the person who happened to be sitting at the signup table that day was the Special Education teacher who was more than willing to answer some questions. Now that I'm worried about Aly's IEP (I'm not happy with it), Scotty hears from a family friend who happens to be good friends with Aly's new principal (follow that?) that she's been talking to the principal about Aly and showing her Aly's pictures and videos. The principal says she's gotten emails about Aly and that's she's growing attached to her already. To me that shows God's favor in Aly's life. He's proving to me (again) that although I have to go through the motions and fight for my daughter in the school system, He's going to place the people and move the pieces. For me, that is THE reason not to worry.
Friday, May 25, 2012
End of an era...
A month after Scotty and I got married we made a trip to Sebree KY to look at a litter of Yorkies. We picked a cute roly poly one, they bathed him, gave him a tiny blue bandanna and spritzed him with a little cologne. He was 2 pounds and couldn't even crawl over Scotty's shoe. That was 13 years ago and in those 13 years Kory was with us through everything. When I had bilateral foot surgery and couldn't bear weight on my feet for 4 weeks he was curled up beside me, when I had a miscarriage and didn't get off the couch for 2 weeks he was on the couch too, when I was on bed rest with my pregnancies he was on bed rest too. Kory moved from every apartment and every house we've had. For 6 years he was our baby, then we rocked his world when Cade was born. I remember Kory laying across my very pregnant belly and the baby (whichever one it was at the time) kicking or moving and Kory growling at my belly b/c they had disrupted his sleep. Every baby we brought home from the hospital would cause Kory to look at us with a look that could only be described as "Seriously? Another one?". The best way I can explain his attitude towards the kids is that he tolerated them. They had a strict "if you don't bother me, I won't bother you" policy. That of course didn't stop the kids from bothering him. He would huff and puff and just get up and move out of their reach. The past few years we dubbed him the "grumpy old man". He laid on my legs or curled next to me and if I moved he would growl then get up and move where he wouldn't be bothered. His health has been getting worse for a couple years and today it got the best of him. I am relieved that he will not suffer and that we didn't have to watch him get worse. I will miss the warmth of his tiny little body against my leg. I will miss him curled behind my knees in bed. I will miss the sound of his claws on the floor (okay, that was actually annoying). I will miss his deep brown eyes looking at me in hope that I will save him from one of the kids. I will miss the comfort that I felt just by wrapping him in my arms and pulling him close to me while watching TV.
When we told Cade and Aly that Kory went to Heaven I wasn't quite expecting the questions that would come from a 5 year old. The conversation went like this:
Aly: "How do you get to Heaven?"
Scotty: "Jesus comes and gets your spirit and takes it with Him."
Aly: "What's a spirit?"
Cade: "It's the thing that's inside you that makes you move."
Scotty: "It's your soul. You know, your thoughts and feelings."
Aly: "What's a soul?"
Me: "Aly, go to sleep."
Aly: "Kory is in Heaven which is in outer space. He can see the stars and moon and all the other beautiful things. What does Heaven look like?"
Me: "Heaven is beautiful, now go to sleep."
Aly (chanting): "Kory's in Heaven, Kory's in Heaven, Kory's in Heaven..."
Cade (who had not been crying to this point starts wailing): "I'm going to miss him! I can't wait until we get to Heaven so we can see him again."
Oh and if you wonder what Avery thinks...she just walks around saying "gog, gog?"
Rest in Peace Kory Dog.
When we told Cade and Aly that Kory went to Heaven I wasn't quite expecting the questions that would come from a 5 year old. The conversation went like this:
Aly: "How do you get to Heaven?"
Scotty: "Jesus comes and gets your spirit and takes it with Him."
Aly: "What's a spirit?"
Cade: "It's the thing that's inside you that makes you move."
Scotty: "It's your soul. You know, your thoughts and feelings."
Aly: "What's a soul?"
Me: "Aly, go to sleep."
Aly: "Kory is in Heaven which is in outer space. He can see the stars and moon and all the other beautiful things. What does Heaven look like?"
Me: "Heaven is beautiful, now go to sleep."
Aly (chanting): "Kory's in Heaven, Kory's in Heaven, Kory's in Heaven..."
Cade (who had not been crying to this point starts wailing): "I'm going to miss him! I can't wait until we get to Heaven so we can see him again."
Oh and if you wonder what Avery thinks...she just walks around saying "gog, gog?"
Monday, March 12, 2012
Will you let me vent? If not, I'll do it anyway.
I need a good vent session so I figured this is as good a place as any to do that. I'm so tired of the pushy, do-gooder, one up everyone, force my opinions on people, fill in the blank for whatever else society that I live in. Sometimes I just wish it were the 1950's when life was simple. Although, I wasn't alive in the 50's so I can't attest to the simplicity of life by experience, only by watching Leave it to Beaver. I know there are several jokes coming about my ability to be June Cleaver but if I lived back then I probably would have had a better chance at it. I am just as guilty as anyone else of thinking that everyone should think like me, in fact I'm probably writing this blog because I'm tired of people who don't think like me.
Say this, don't say that; do this, don't do that; eat this, don't eat that; pray about this, not about that; wear this, don't wear that; vote for this person, not that person.
The news is all about gas prices, elections, murders, molestation, and meth labs. I used to have the mentality that if a person wasn't educated on current events and the world around them that they were shallow. I don't even want to hear about current events or the world around me anymore. I would much rather watch the shallow drama on The Bachelor than the 5:00 news. We can't prevent the world from falling apart, it's Biblical, so why do we have to analyze it?
Should kids eat french fries? Should kids watch TV? Should kids play video games? What age is too young for competitive sports? Should a kid read 10 mins a day or 15 mins? You're kid is potty trained at 15 months? Well my 2 year old knows his alphabet, colors, shapes, can count to 100 and recite all 50 states. Seriously? Why can't kids just be kids? They're our kids for a reason. Our parental decisions are what's best for our kids. Disclaimer: some people just shouldn't be able to reproduce in general. While I'm on this note, I'm so sick of hearing about childhood obesity that I could scream. Almost every kid goes through a chunky phase. Granted some kids don't get out of that phase and that should be addressed but to make umbrella decisions b/c of others parenting decisions gets under my skin. If I want to feed my kid a pop tart and a happy meal, I have the God given right to do that. I have to make a deliberate effort to make as high calorie food for Aly as possible. I do not have to explain to the mom next to me at a restaurant why I am letting her drink sweet tea or why if she only eats 1 nugget she still gets ice cream. An entire chicken nugget is HUGE for her. A tablespoon of spagetti is awesome! For that matter, I do not have the time or the energy to care whether that nugget and spagetti is organic or not. If anyone has the time for that, more power to them.
I have spent the last week devoting alot of time to Aly's IEP testing. This is a exhaustive, emotional process that I don't expect anyone that hasn't been through it to understand. This being my first time experiencing it may make it more stressful b/c I don't know what to expect. What I would like to tell them (or scream at them) is "Just because my kid looks fine on the outside doesn't mean you can dismiss her. She's not autistic and does not have a disorder or illness that you routinely deal with. That being said, you still have to deal with her. Thank you very much." I of course would say that in the nicest way possible :-)
I love my kids and enjoy spending time with them. Each of their ages are fun. I always think each stage is the most fun but then they reach a new stage and then that one is just as fun. I want to spend my energy on having fun with them, letting them have fun with each other and their friends and teaching them as little people to grow up and be respectful big people. I will not reach that goal in the same way as the next mom will and that's okay. It doesn't matter what the Today Show's "expert" says, Parenting magazine writes, or even what my friends think.
I honestly at this point do not care about the election, how many meth labs are in Evansville, who murdered who, or if you think it's your right to smoke in a public building. I will avoid the news as much as possible and enjoy Dancing with the Stars instead.
Now that I've said my piece I'll get off my soapbox and turn my attention to the laughing, screaming kids that are dangerously balancing on the rails of the swing set. Oh and while I was writing this, I won "Mother of the Year"...the baby fell on the patio and now has road rash on her nose. Just another day at the Edmondson's.
Say this, don't say that; do this, don't do that; eat this, don't eat that; pray about this, not about that; wear this, don't wear that; vote for this person, not that person.
The news is all about gas prices, elections, murders, molestation, and meth labs. I used to have the mentality that if a person wasn't educated on current events and the world around them that they were shallow. I don't even want to hear about current events or the world around me anymore. I would much rather watch the shallow drama on The Bachelor than the 5:00 news. We can't prevent the world from falling apart, it's Biblical, so why do we have to analyze it?
Should kids eat french fries? Should kids watch TV? Should kids play video games? What age is too young for competitive sports? Should a kid read 10 mins a day or 15 mins? You're kid is potty trained at 15 months? Well my 2 year old knows his alphabet, colors, shapes, can count to 100 and recite all 50 states. Seriously? Why can't kids just be kids? They're our kids for a reason. Our parental decisions are what's best for our kids. Disclaimer: some people just shouldn't be able to reproduce in general. While I'm on this note, I'm so sick of hearing about childhood obesity that I could scream. Almost every kid goes through a chunky phase. Granted some kids don't get out of that phase and that should be addressed but to make umbrella decisions b/c of others parenting decisions gets under my skin. If I want to feed my kid a pop tart and a happy meal, I have the God given right to do that. I have to make a deliberate effort to make as high calorie food for Aly as possible. I do not have to explain to the mom next to me at a restaurant why I am letting her drink sweet tea or why if she only eats 1 nugget she still gets ice cream. An entire chicken nugget is HUGE for her. A tablespoon of spagetti is awesome! For that matter, I do not have the time or the energy to care whether that nugget and spagetti is organic or not. If anyone has the time for that, more power to them.
I have spent the last week devoting alot of time to Aly's IEP testing. This is a exhaustive, emotional process that I don't expect anyone that hasn't been through it to understand. This being my first time experiencing it may make it more stressful b/c I don't know what to expect. What I would like to tell them (or scream at them) is "Just because my kid looks fine on the outside doesn't mean you can dismiss her. She's not autistic and does not have a disorder or illness that you routinely deal with. That being said, you still have to deal with her. Thank you very much." I of course would say that in the nicest way possible :-)
I love my kids and enjoy spending time with them. Each of their ages are fun. I always think each stage is the most fun but then they reach a new stage and then that one is just as fun. I want to spend my energy on having fun with them, letting them have fun with each other and their friends and teaching them as little people to grow up and be respectful big people. I will not reach that goal in the same way as the next mom will and that's okay. It doesn't matter what the Today Show's "expert" says, Parenting magazine writes, or even what my friends think.
I honestly at this point do not care about the election, how many meth labs are in Evansville, who murdered who, or if you think it's your right to smoke in a public building. I will avoid the news as much as possible and enjoy Dancing with the Stars instead.
Now that I've said my piece I'll get off my soapbox and turn my attention to the laughing, screaming kids that are dangerously balancing on the rails of the swing set. Oh and while I was writing this, I won "Mother of the Year"...the baby fell on the patio and now has road rash on her nose. Just another day at the Edmondson's.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Baby Joy
My baby girl will be 1 in 2 days. This past year has gone by so fast, I just can't believe it. It seems like just yesterday I was going in and out of the hospital from complications from the toughest of any of my pregnancies. The doctors decided to take her earlier than planned and did an amnio to make sure she was ready. I have never been so scared of one tiny needle in my life...as it turned out, completely unwarranted fear. I'm not sure if the pain I had been going through prior to the amnio made it pale in comparison but that needle was by far the least painful thing I had been through! Then came the waiting...were her lungs mature or not? The months leading up to this moment made me so nervous. Of course I wanted her to be healthy but I needed to get this baby out of me! No more insulin shots, no more needles digging and digging to find veins for pain meds to be given through, no more stress tests, no more ultrasounds, no more middle of the night trips to Triage...this baby needed to come out and not a day too soon. Finally, the call that she was okay and we were clear for the last C-section I'd ever have to go through.
The Triage staff and I had become friends so when we came in the next day they were almost as happy that this pregnancy was coming to an end as I was. When I said the digging for veins was over, I meant ALMOST over. They had to do some more digging that morning but I didn't mind as much because it was finally BABY DAY! I knew there was an end result to this trip. I had been telling them for over a month that the next time they saw me it would be because I was actually having a baby...that didn't quite work like I had thought. But this day was really it!
I tried not to worry that new baby would have the same issues as Aly but when the time was coming worries started to rise to the surface. When Aly was born pretty much all hell broke loose in the operating room. I almost had a heart attack (literally) on the table and Aly wasn't breathing. Naturally, I (along with the rest of my family) was worried about a repeat performance. I'm happy to report that none of the above happened and all was well. Avery Jae was born Feb 3, 2011 at 8:something (3rd kid, I don't remember the time anymore) in the morning. My "big" gestational diabetes baby was a whopping 6 pds 9 oz (I've learned not to trust the size the doctors think by u/s). She was breathing just fine, holding her temperature great and eating like a champ (all unlike her sister). So far, bullets dodged.
I never imagined how easy going a baby could be. I've always been a fan of the newborn/infant stage anyway but she has been a go with flow type of baby from day 1. Her nickname that Scotty and I gave her when she was about a month old is "chill baby" and she still lives up to that name. She is a baby insomniac but chill no matter what. I love her personality. Cade is go, go, go all the time, Aly surrounds herself with a different make believe world everyday and Avery sits and watches it all happen.
When I found out I was pregnant I was scared. It took me several months to come to terms with it and once I came to terms with possibly having another baby with Mito, the craziness that was my pregnancy hit full force. I didn't have a chance to enjoy the last time I would ever feel a baby kick from inside my belly, or seeing her picture on an u/s screen. I can't say that I haven't enjoyed Avery though. I consciously make myself slow down and spend time with her. I don't want to miss a second of her babyhood. I love all my kids but the stress of Aly's illness took a toll on me and I lost sight of the joy of my kid's childhood. Avery has brought the joy of childhood back. Cade and Aly love her to death and Cade thinks she is the cutest thing he's ever seen. Avery thinks he is the funniest thing she's ever seen. She follows them both around the house just to see what they are doing. The first steps she took were to Cade.
At the time I thought God was crazy by adding another baby to our household. After all, didn't He know how much we had on our plate with Aly? It turns out He really does know what He's doing. Avery has brought happiness and joy back to our whole house that we didn't realize we were even missing.
Happy 1st Birthday to my sweet baby girl and I'm so thankful for you.
The Triage staff and I had become friends so when we came in the next day they were almost as happy that this pregnancy was coming to an end as I was. When I said the digging for veins was over, I meant ALMOST over. They had to do some more digging that morning but I didn't mind as much because it was finally BABY DAY! I knew there was an end result to this trip. I had been telling them for over a month that the next time they saw me it would be because I was actually having a baby...that didn't quite work like I had thought. But this day was really it!
I tried not to worry that new baby would have the same issues as Aly but when the time was coming worries started to rise to the surface. When Aly was born pretty much all hell broke loose in the operating room. I almost had a heart attack (literally) on the table and Aly wasn't breathing. Naturally, I (along with the rest of my family) was worried about a repeat performance. I'm happy to report that none of the above happened and all was well. Avery Jae was born Feb 3, 2011 at 8:something (3rd kid, I don't remember the time anymore) in the morning. My "big" gestational diabetes baby was a whopping 6 pds 9 oz (I've learned not to trust the size the doctors think by u/s). She was breathing just fine, holding her temperature great and eating like a champ (all unlike her sister). So far, bullets dodged.
I never imagined how easy going a baby could be. I've always been a fan of the newborn/infant stage anyway but she has been a go with flow type of baby from day 1. Her nickname that Scotty and I gave her when she was about a month old is "chill baby" and she still lives up to that name. She is a baby insomniac but chill no matter what. I love her personality. Cade is go, go, go all the time, Aly surrounds herself with a different make believe world everyday and Avery sits and watches it all happen.
When I found out I was pregnant I was scared. It took me several months to come to terms with it and once I came to terms with possibly having another baby with Mito, the craziness that was my pregnancy hit full force. I didn't have a chance to enjoy the last time I would ever feel a baby kick from inside my belly, or seeing her picture on an u/s screen. I can't say that I haven't enjoyed Avery though. I consciously make myself slow down and spend time with her. I don't want to miss a second of her babyhood. I love all my kids but the stress of Aly's illness took a toll on me and I lost sight of the joy of my kid's childhood. Avery has brought the joy of childhood back. Cade and Aly love her to death and Cade thinks she is the cutest thing he's ever seen. Avery thinks he is the funniest thing she's ever seen. She follows them both around the house just to see what they are doing. The first steps she took were to Cade.
At the time I thought God was crazy by adding another baby to our household. After all, didn't He know how much we had on our plate with Aly? It turns out He really does know what He's doing. Avery has brought happiness and joy back to our whole house that we didn't realize we were even missing.
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Thanksgiving Thankfulness
In the spirit of Thankfulness I thought I'd jot down what I'm thankful for. Here goes...
I'm thankful for my mortgage payment b/c that means I have a house to live in.
I'm thankful for my husband's stressful job b/c jobs are hard to come by these days.
I'm thankful for the noise in my house, even though it drives me crazy, b/c that means my kids are able to run, jump and play.
I'm thankful for our friends who understand us and know that just b/c we don't talk everyday (or return phone calls) that we don't love them any less.
I'm thankful that the baby sleeps better these days and in HER bed (it's the little things that make me happy).
I'm thankful for the 100 questions that Cade and Aly ask a day b/c it means they have the ability to process information (some people take that for granted).
I'm thankful to have family to spend the holidays with b/c there are lonely people in the world that are forgotten about.
I'm thankful for sweet tea b/c it's awesome.
I'm thankful for wonderful doctors for Aly.
I'm thankful that my God has mercy on Aly. Even though on paper she shouldn't be the walking, talking, fiesty girl that she is, He makes a miracle out of her daily.
I'm thankful for BMX, football and baseball. They keep Cade busy, active and give him a sense of pride in himself.
I'm thankful for our BMX family and the wonderful friendships that we have formed.
I'm thankful for Avery's kisses (drool and all).
Last but not least, I'm thankful for Scotty. 12.7 years of marriage and I love him more today than I did the day we got married. We married as practically kids and grew up together. We vowed in good times and bad times and it's been just that. There's noone I'd rather spend the next 12, 24, and 48 years with. Oh, and he's still hot :)
I'm thankful for my mortgage payment b/c that means I have a house to live in.
I'm thankful for my husband's stressful job b/c jobs are hard to come by these days.
I'm thankful for the noise in my house, even though it drives me crazy, b/c that means my kids are able to run, jump and play.
I'm thankful for our friends who understand us and know that just b/c we don't talk everyday (or return phone calls) that we don't love them any less.
I'm thankful that the baby sleeps better these days and in HER bed (it's the little things that make me happy).
I'm thankful for the 100 questions that Cade and Aly ask a day b/c it means they have the ability to process information (some people take that for granted).
I'm thankful to have family to spend the holidays with b/c there are lonely people in the world that are forgotten about.
I'm thankful for sweet tea b/c it's awesome.
I'm thankful for wonderful doctors for Aly.
I'm thankful that my God has mercy on Aly. Even though on paper she shouldn't be the walking, talking, fiesty girl that she is, He makes a miracle out of her daily.
I'm thankful for BMX, football and baseball. They keep Cade busy, active and give him a sense of pride in himself.
I'm thankful for our BMX family and the wonderful friendships that we have formed.
I'm thankful for Avery's kisses (drool and all).
Last but not least, I'm thankful for Scotty. 12.7 years of marriage and I love him more today than I did the day we got married. We married as practically kids and grew up together. We vowed in good times and bad times and it's been just that. There's noone I'd rather spend the next 12, 24, and 48 years with. Oh, and he's still hot :)
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