Save Now

This week is our Holy Week, this week I plan to take time to really THINK about what this week means when it comes to my faith. Just like Christmas isn't just about Santa Claus, Easter isn't just about a Bunny. I want to find my "Passion" this week and be passionate about what I believe and WHO I believe in.
Ray preached on Hosanna today. Hosanna means "Save Now", now I'm thinking about the way I pray. When Jesus rode into town on the donkey (not a huge horse that commands attention) people cried HOSANNA, b/c they wanted and needed Him right then. I have a hard time giving up control (shocking I know) and I wonder if that's why some prayers go unanswered. Is it a lack of faith, am I not giving up all control, do I say that I've laid it at His feet but really I still have a string tied to it? In all reality, I'm probably overanalyzing the whole situation. Who am I to tell God who to heal? Who am I to tell God how much money I need? Who am I to tell God who to save and who not to save? He HAS kept His promises to me...salvation, love and protection. When it comes down to it, that's truely all that matters. Now of course I'd like to change what matters sometimes but to God that irrelevant.
I'm also having trouble dealing with the "Vengeance is the Lord's" concept. I hate when things that I thought I had dealt with come back and apparantly I haven't dealt with it like I thought. Well, if I really think about it I DID deal with it at the time and I have been over it for quite a long time (for the most part). But some things have come to light recently that have made me not QUITE over it. How do you deal with that? I know some of you would love for me to specify just what "it" is but I'm not going to, sorry :-) I know our life has taken the path that God wants us on and I really have NO DOUBT about that part. I just question His reasoning on the paths that He's taken others on. This goes back to the me not being the one to tell God what He should and shouldn't do but sometimes it's JUST SO OBVIOUS to me. I wonder how it's not so obvious to Him. I know, concentrate on my life and Christ's purpose for my family, yeah I get it. I do concentrate on that, it is what gets me through the day without hate in my heart. Love and hate cannot share the same space, so everyday I tell myself that it's not my problem, I'm where I'm meant to be, and I cling to the promise that Christ made "Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord". I just wish it was earthly vengeance and not heavenly judgement.
I've never been one to pray "Lord, come quickly". I know where I'm going when die and I'm confident in that, it just doesn't have to be right now does it? After all, my grandpa has told me that when he was a boy people would say "these are the last days". So it's been the end of time for awhile now. Scotty and I will disagree on this point. He says now is the best option and I think kinda like Kenny Chesney (Everybody wants to go to Heaven but nobody wants to go now). Don't think bad of me for that, I just know when I do go, whenever that may be, that it will be Heaven. So I'd really like to see my kids grow up, maybe have some grandkids, retire on the beach, travel, you know all the stuff people dream of. BUT today while I was listening to Ray preach on Hosanna "Save NOW", it hit me. THAT'S how I should pray, "Come quickly Lord, and save us now!". Whether that is save us from this earth that is quickly going further down the proverbial drain or save us from the situations we are in. What we need is our Hosanna to SAVE us. So as I am praying for Him to save me from my situations, I'm also going to pray for him to take His big Godly scissors and cut the darn strings that keep me attatched to the problems I give Him. And then I hear Him tell me to cut them myself.